subdermal
by Melpomene Whitehead
March 23-24, Reguritation Show, Jersey City. I don't think I've been
in Jersey City (except to the Mall) since the early 90s. Sad to say, the dark
greasy cloud of despair still hangs over. It was too long a walk to the Old
Gold cigarette factory where the Regurgitation show was being held,
a two day festival of art and music with bands, djs, robots, and Jell-o Shots.
But we trudged on and wandered up dark staircases to find... bands, djs, robots,
and Jell-o shots! One floor was mostly djs and performers, another was taken
over by artists of many stripes. Eric Sophie the LegoMaster (see his
stuff at http://brickshelf.com/cgi-bin/gallery.cgi?f=2817)
was there with his giant, partially finished, Lego robot, who shall remain nameless,
as he is. Nameless, that is. Eric says he won't be naming him. His head and 
shoulders are controlled by five Lego Mindstorm kits, and one of his eyes is
equipped with a cam that interfaces with a PC, so while the Legobot looks at
you menacingly, you can see yourself on the computer screen looking back at
him, everso timidly. D. Carner was videotaping for his trampoline/memory
project, called jump, and I got on the mini trampoline and jumped around!
While I yelled at Tom to hurry up and take my picture. Since the event was a
party, there was no liquor for sale, so we did the suburban thing and trekked
to the gigantic ShopRite. You know, they don't sell beer in supermarkets
in Jersey, so all the supermarkets have liquor stores inside. This worked out
well for us, as we purchased not only beer AND snacks, but Kalhua Mudslides.
Up at the counter were enticing little bottles of flavored rum, seductively
packaged in a four-pak. So we bought that too. When we got back to Regurgitation
and set up on the faux lawn, we discovered that everyone bought those lovely
little bottles! While we drank on the astroturf, the dj looped a guitar riff
(from "Everybody Wants to Rule The World,") and Tom and I argued over
whether it was Tears for Fears or Steve Reich! I am the mistress
of bad 80s music, so you know I was right. I was vindicated when a guy came
over and started laughing when he heard the riff. "That's fuckin Tear for Fears!"
March 25, David Lee Myers, Tim Perkins, Thom DiMuzio & Elliott Sharp @ Tonic.
I don't know what they were calling this, but it was basically weird device
night. The four jammed together on their strange things (E#'s was the
most non-weird: it was a powerbook), and then they spilt up into solos and duets.
It all rocked, but fuckin Thom DiMuzio! Geezus. There's this process
called EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing), a way of achieving
'lost' memories through right and left brain synchronization. It was initially
done visually, with waving hands, and then rhythimic devices., but later it
was discovered that certain tones played monaurally through stereo headphones
(ie, the left and right play different things) and I swear DiMuzio was doing
this! While he twiddled with his synths (he looked like he was working the A
train switching station) I was remembering dreams I had years ago. It was so
strange and wonderful! The sounds were like the mothership hovering to take
me home. E#, with the Electronic Music Foundation, has also released
"State of the Union 2.001," a 3 disc compilation featuring some of the biggest
innovators of electronic music, all in one minute clips! Contributors include
Pete Missing, Z'ev, Tape Beatles, Kaspar Toeplitz, Ligeti/Ritchford, Christian
Marclay...you can't go wrong. Log onto http://cdemusic.org/emfmedia.
March 28, Mr. Quintron is Drum Buddy Baddass and Oneida, Knitting Factory
mainspace. I know Mr. Quintron as the demonic happy organ guy. But
apparently he's an inventor too, and he's invented this new analog drum machine 
called the Drum Buddy. Mr, Quintron himself came out and introduced the hour-long
Drum Buddy Infomercial, a badly video-taped debacle complete with star-wipe
edits and weird people in the audience. At first I was confused as to why we
just paid $10 to see an infomercial, but, fuck it, some day I'll be able to
say I saw it, like I tell people I saw Sid Vicious stumbling around CBGBs
a few weeks before he died. The infomercial itself was more Devo's "Now
It Can Be Told" than Thigh-Master, and the infomercial audience members probably
had a full set of teeth among them. But he is selling a product! It's
a holey tin can on a turntable, which, due to the miracle of light synthesizers,
makes beats. It's actually pretty cool! And tres expensive at $999.99,
but that includes a coffee mug. In true Mr. Quintron style, the machine is turned
on and off with a key. After the infomercial, Mr. Quintron performed a short
and sweet set as Mr. Quintron is Drum Buddy Baddass with MC Trach (as
in, inexpicably, trachyotomy) on the mic. This was a sort of Beastie Boys/Radiskull
and Devildoll-esque goofy white rap thing. MC Trach wore a very ugly polyester
suit and bad sunglasses. In traditional gansta style, all the songs were about
them, their record label, and the Drum Buddy. It was getting late, and I was
dreading the long train ride home, but I stayed for Oneida anyway, having
no idea who they were. I was getting scared as I saw about 17 things on the
stage: too many guitars, too many keyboards, fur-covered amps. Four guys hit
the stage, and they all look like they're in different bands: one keyboardist,
Fat Bobby I think his name is? is clearly from the J. Giles Band, the drummer
looks like the stereotypical tv beatnik, the guitarist is either from Pavement
or Hootie and the Blowfish, and the keyboardist in the front, well, he's a cross
between Neil Young and, uh, Neil Young? Should we throw Joni Mitchell into the
mix? He has long flat hair. So, immediately they all start BANGING away, screaming
what sounds like DIE! over and over and over for like seven minutes. They were 
great! Imagine a thrash metal version of ? and the Mysterians. Later,
Neil Younger played guitar, the other guitarist did some funny cock-rock moves,
the other keyboardist asked for and received a beer, the drummer asked for,
and didn't receive, more sound from the stage monitors. Band members moved to
the audience and cheered. They thanked everyone who wasn't related to them.
I'm glad I stayed. Oneida photo by Tom Ritchford
April 12, The Liquid Tapedeck (Fast Forward Flood)@ Oasis. One cannot
underestimate the effect The Liquid Tapedeck has on me. I always have
a good time, I laugh at the multitude of pop culture references, I actually
enjoy the music. Math Jokes and Peter Etcetera are phenomenally
entertaining. However, Peter Etc. did not make it to this night's show at Oasis,
as Ashley, an intern at Empire of Goodness records informed us. He was,
uh, visiting his dying grandmother in Alaska. And so, tonight, Peter Etc was
"replaced" by keyboardist Jeep Sweden. Only thing is Peter usually plays
guitar. How could he be replaced with a keyboard player who'd never
even practiced with singer Math Jokes? Ashley informed us that questionnaires
would be distributed at the end of the show so we could let the Tapedeck know
how we felt about Jeep and other aspects of the performance. Well, when Jeep
came out, I knew it would all be OK. He looked like Rick Wakeman without
the wall of beer bottles on the keyboard, and his eclectic keyboard riffs fit
perfectly with The Tapedeck's unusual amalgam of pop and improv. By the time
Math appeared on stage I was so caught up in Jeep's playing I barely noticed.
But really, you can't help but notice Math after a few moments, especially when
you're in the front row and he's jumping and spinning and cavorting. He removed
his shirt almost immediately, revealing waterwings on his arms. Would there
really be a fast forward flood this time? One of the wonderful things about
The Tapedeck is that the show is never the same. In fact, the songs are rarely
the same. I think the only song I've seen them do every time was "Fist Mike"
which I never get sick of anyway. It's a slow ballad with a lovely melody, and
Math goes into the audience and actually sings into people's fists. For the
first time ever, I saw him sing into two fists at once! The baffled yet friendly 
audience at Oasis that night was offering up their fists left and right to the
enigmatic and charismatic Math. They did some songs I'd never heard, like "LSD,"
wherein Math does a very funny Yoko yodel, and makes fun of the Beatles
and various Beatles wives. But, although the show was fabulous (every show I've
seen of theirs is great), and Jeep was a transcendent keyboardist, I missed
Peter. I hope his grandma is ok! I got to see some of the returned quality control
questionnaires, and the responses ranged from "Lay off Linda" (referring to
the "LSD" song) to "more wombats!" As always, I requested that they
bring back my favorite song to the show, "Let's Light Joan Rivers on Fire."
April 15. Poor Joey. I knew he was in the hospital, and I didn't think
it sounded too good. Still, what a shock. Joey changed the world for almost
all of us. He will be missed.
April 18, Chewtoys at Orchard Grill. After some fries at Ranch One (and
the fries are no better than anyone else's, by the way), we headed downtown
to see Shel, Sheldon, and Spinoza spin at Chewtoys. While we listened
to Shel spin some delicate and funky trance mixes, Spinoza told me that he DJs
in the bathrooms at Twilo. I laughed, as the bathroom is always the place
where I realize how fucked up I am! Suddenly you're confronted with doors and
mirrors, and zippers and tights and you're like "my god! I did too much." He
said it's weird, because you have your audience for only a few minutes, so it's
a completely different experience from spinning in a real room at a club. But
everyone's got to go to the bathroom. Orchard Grill is weird, but comfortable.
They actually serve dinner up through 10, so you still see some beefeaters chowing
down while Shel weaves that trancy web. The music is loud, but not so loud
that you can't have a conversation, the sound system is good, there are pretzels
and beer on tap, and three djs that are good, and different enough that you
just can't go wrong. When Spinoza came on, my only wish was that there was a
dance floor, as he plays some mean beats.
April 19, Speak of the Devil video premiere, Void and Lesion, Arlene Grocery.
Ah, a night of demonology. Jeremy X. Halpern's Speak of The Devil:
A Satanic Cabaret (http://www.weirdos.com/devil/)
had its video premiere at Void. You may remember this show ran last spring at
Show World, a place many of us visited, and some of us worked, when they
had strippers. The show is sort of like Threepenny Opera mixed with Rocky
Horror. For some reason, God is a woman. Can't figure that one. Shouldn't
God be a hairy wombat? Tom Ritchford, who played Semyaza, the
first angel to rebel against God, said, "God is a woman because it's just like
that old joke, and plus it let us put that torch song at the beginning of act
2." Which old joke? The one about the chicken kurma? You can order the video
and the CD at the website www.weirdos.com,
and you can also download trailers there.
Lesion, of course, is New York City's (maybe America's, maybe the world's??)
premiere satanic rock combo (I know, they hail from Essen, Germany, but they
live here now, dammit!). The crowd was sublimely soused and sweaty when Dr
Gustav Hurtz, accompanied by Piss Promise on guitar, Mr. Pod
on bass, and the mute drummer Venison, paraded onto the stage at Arlene
Grocery. The all too short but quite sweet set included hits from their most 
recent CD, You and What Army, along with classics from Slaboratory
such as "You've Got A Friend in Hell," and "Clone Boner," which they did as
one of three encores. Hell, they are loved. My two favorite bands are The Liquid
Tapedeck and Lesion--if you don't see them, I will hunt you down like a duck.
April 22, Urinetown The Musical. On the recommendation of Peter Etc.,
I attended a Sunday afternoon performance of Urinetown. I'm not a fan of live
theater, and I have a strong dislike for musicals in general. But, this was
awesome. The show takes place in a city where citizens pay to use the bathroom.
Like all good post-modern musical comedies, it constantly refers to the fact
that we're watching a musical comedy. Jeff McCarthy and Spencer Kayden
are perfection as Officer Lockstock and Little Sally, the characters
who offer up most of the expository dialog. Kayden performs with the Neo-Futurists,
and is a playwright herself, so I expected her to be good. McCarthy, though,
comes from a traditional musical theater background, so I commend him for rising
above that. Everyone is good in this, there are only a few clinker moments (some
overly sappy songs), and it'll probably play for a while, so try to see it early.
This way you can brag to your friends. In case you think this is just some bogus musical,
it was a big hit at last year's Fringe Festival, so there ya go. Urinetown
The Musical is at American Theater of Actors 314 West 54th St.
April 25, Mink Lungs at The Stinger. After taping a new episode of
Rools Like Ozzy, the fabulous Miss Adena, assisted by her lovely
friends from San Francisco, Annie and Frances, took me and Peter
Etcetera to The Stinger in Billsburg to see Mink Lungs. We
had seen the show 'advertised' on the stairs of the L train (written in chalk: Mink Lungs
4/25 at The Stinger--hey, it worked). We only caught the end of the set, but
they packed more into the 10 minutes I saw than many other bands do in 45. The
guitarist took his shirt off, and he's a chubby boy, and started dancing around
the audience. Of course, the lovely Adena, ever up for a good time, immediately
began to boogie with him. Then, he donned a choir robe and began to lip sync
to an evangelist's sermon, holding a utility lamp under has face to look demonic
and occasionally changing the pitch. I'm sorry to say that I really can't even
comment on the rest of the band as this crazy kid was so compelling. I should
point out here that a very long time ago I was in a band with Peter Bernard,
Rools producer and Goddamn Funnies cartoonist, called Mockingbird
Lungs, only I could never remember the name and always called us Heartless
Ravens. photo of Peter Etcetera and Melpomene W. by Peter Bernard
April 28, Dream House. While I waited outside of Roulette for a perpetual
latenik, I was accosted by a large man with the intense gaze of a zealot. It
was Steve Speer, computer artist extraordinaire, in town for a few days taking a break
from fixing up his haunted San Francisco houseboat. He screamed
"love and light" at me while I bitched about being made to wait, and dragged
me to the Dream House for some bizarre brainwashing and relaxation. The
Dream House is an installation of sound frequencies that has been going on for
eight years. The big room has a plush carpet and pillows and soft psychedelic
lights and magenta colored gel on the windows, but the main feature is the sound:
a constant drone that of course changes pitch as you move around the room, or
even just move your head while you lay down. The sound is by La Monte Young,
and the light and environment by Marian Zazeela. You don't need to know
anything about this sort of thing to enjoy yourself at the Dream House, but
do be prepared to remove your shoes. The Dream House is 275 Church St, 3 fl,
Thurs-Sat, 2PM-Midnight 212.925.8270
Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St
The Dream House, 275 Church St
The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St, http://knittingfactory.com
Oasis at Chashama, 135 w. 42 St, http://www.chashama.org
Orchard Grill, 196 Orchard Street
Tonic, 107 Norfolk St, http://tonicnyc.com
Void, 16 Mercer Street, http://www.voidltd.com/
Lesion: http://lesionallevil.com
The Liquid Tapedeck: http://thetapedeck.com
Mr. Quintron: http://listen.to/Quintron
Oneida: http://www.jagjaguwar.com/jagjaguwar/oneida/
4.04
Rools Like Ozzy: http://www.roolslikeozzy.com
Urinetown the Musical: http://www.urinetown.com
upcoming weird events: http://ExtremeNY.com/calendar
and don't forget to watch xNYtv, MNN ch 57, every monday night at 11:30
pm